Writer’s struggle

I recently bought a lovely Dutch magazine called Happinez. It was their first English issue and it was beautiful. Eagerly, I went to the last page of the magazine to find out when the next issue would be out. Nada. No information. So I went to their homepage. Nothing again. Rather frustrating, but hardly serious,…

Self Love

There is so much I want to do and create and facilitate. And protect and maintain, heal and develop. The all familiar GAP between who and where I am and who and where I want to be, is not getting smaller. However, it does feel like my capacity is. Getting smaller, that is. Paradoxically, and…

Spain can be anywhere

I booked a family vacation. Charter. For the first time ever, we are going on a beach vacation. One week of sunshine, 7 swimming pools, a long beach, and all meals included. It’s I myself who’s chosen the uncharacteristic destination, I’m usually dreaming of going to big cities and museums… And even though I must…

New shoes

I often feel like I’ve outgrown the current version of myself. Like I’m wearing shoes too small for me, and I’m getting chafed feet. There comes a lot of frustration and pain with that. On the other hand, when trying on a bigger size, it becomes clear, that I haven’t grown enough yet, that I…

FEELING versus BEING

This morning I woke up feeling like the shittiest person who’s ever lived. It doesn’t of course take a lot of reflection to realize that that simply can’t be true: I haven’t started wars, I haven’t tortured anyone, locked someone away, starved someone, nor have I ever consciously abused anyone, physically or psychologically. So, that…

Hibernating

I have started writing this post several times, only to stop after a few sentences,  feeling a strong sensation of “not yet”.   I am hibernating, you see. If possible, I would surely have spent the past two months or so hiding in a cave somewhere. Well, if I truly had had the opportunity to…

Happy new Year

Sometimes, I feel like a duck, calm on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath. It’s only when I notice that I’m actually not moving forward, that I realize that the paddling is not happening under the surface at all, but only going on like crazy in my head. Looking back on the (almost) past…

Holding space

Holding space in the sense of creating room in time and space. Create room, so there’s time for us to listen and to talk. To share and being shared with. Room for us and others to be ourselves. To make mistakes. To screw up and to feel crappy about it. To be forgiven. Above all,…

Flatness

When I was a kid, one of my favorite picture books was called “The flat Franz”. It was a story about a boy, who wanted to visit a dear one in another country. But how? Well, for Franz it was easy, since he had the ability to make himself as flat as a sheet of…

Trying Yoga with beginners mind

Trying something new with a beginners mind shouldn’t be very hard, should it? Well, sometimes it is. Sometimes, there’s stuff coming in between. At least for me. There’s arrogance, for example. A sense of, I already know this, I “just” need to be shown how to practice it… In my teenage years I became very…